Same Old Question: What is Love?
Love is an emotion that drains away all your problems; it doesn’t ask for love back but leaves you aching for the one. It is self-fulfilling and does not cause resentment.
It is satisfying on its own and simply builds up layers of irreplaceable bliss – it might not be apparent to you in terms of accustomed standards symbolizing love, but one can feel it the moment it happens. You can feel it in your instincts and deep down at the level of you conscientious where rationalization fails to continue.
Love is knowing yourself. It is through self awareness that you can understand the face of your love. If you do not understand your own needs and magnitude of patience, expectations and self-esteem it’s very unlikely that the other person would. The most important thing, in my opinion, in love is chemistry. If one knew the proper combination of abstract elements, their coordinating heating, freezing and conversion values, one could’ve bottles it and sold it to countless desperate hearts. But I’m neither a mad chemist nor a believer in rigid, easy – not to forget impossible – measures. It is not romantic either – the practical chemistry.
To me, a great chemistry is a free verse poetry that has perfectly synchronized rhythms of two hearts. A great chemistry is of Langdon & Jamie, Will & Ronnie and John & Savanna. Yes, I have recently visited Nicholas Sparks side of my life but, to be honest, these short trips are, no doubt, my favorite. I like how I’m balancing technical and poetic stuff so unsuccessfully. Because, reader, if you were looking for some clearly defined expository writing showcase, you’ve been trolled.
Reader, I don’t think I will ever want to stop my thoughts on Love – I want myself to keep growing my spectrum of thoughts ( I won’t call it ‘knowledge’ of love) and see from changing horizons my past, present and the idiotic past as well. At this time horizon, as at 18th March, 2012, I first need self-awareness and openness to experiences. I have to defeat fear of losing what I still haven’t found, and fear of not finding love at all. And I clearly mustn’t sell myself short – be that for 1 million heads of cattle.
“I finally understood what true love meant…love meant that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.” ― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John
Dear John, and I …
Life kicks you hard.
Yesterday, I had an experience like no other.
I picked up Dear John by Nicholas Sparks 2 days ago and read it on my commute and a little before going to bed. One of the characters, John’s dad, happened to be really weird: mysterious, unexplained, static. I felt sorry for him and realized he was in great pain since no one understood him. And just the way he lived his life was enough to feel sorry for.
It was no later than 7th chapter when I realized something was common: I knew a person like that around me, but I couldn’t just remember rightly. Anyway, I kept reading. Later, I came across words like ‘autism’ and ‘asperger’. I couldn’t continue period
I have a student in my class of 4 primary who is autistic. I have never had experience with autistic or other special kids before, and I realized that I haven’t been very understanding to her. I mean, should I have known? I couldn’t stop crying and thinking about the past 10 weeks when I should have given her extra attention.
So, despite the fact and Dear John is not one of my favourite books (I’m still reading, though, so you never know if it turns out to be great in the end) but I’ll never forget the nudge, kick – or whatever you call- it has triggered.
Do you know any autistic, asperger, or other special people? If yes, how is your experience with them, and what can I learn from it?
,
More Fires Should Burn… But in our Hearts
On the account of an unfortunate event – #JeddahFire
Following the much talked about yet not-so-worth-questioning incident of ‘Baram Al Watan Girls’ School Fire’, I concluded that there was lack of fire there and real action since it should have burnt to a much greater degree. Fire, turning blue, in our hearts.
In our hearts; we -the people. The spotters yet so unobservant. The witnesses lacking keen eye. And upon this unfortunate event we can divide ourselves in three groups: the controllers, the audience, and the third unnamed.
The first category refers to those of us who take up responsibility. We take up responsibility of hundreds of girls and let their fates be decided on a hunch. We pray to Allah (or do we?) but don’t tie our camels. Until we get enough disasters like this to be counted on all our fingers, eight, nine, ten, such a thing doesn’t exist and since it doesn’t exist, we don’t have to consider that. And since we don’t consider it, it should in turn, never cease nonexistence.
Second group is, passionate as it looks, much more diverse: we watch. And watch. Any skill not acquired, for us, is unapproachable. And the best thing one could do in case of a fire is to wait for fire fighters. It would have been absurd to rush home, grab a mattress and toss it inside school boundaries; the strings would have hurt the fragile bodies falling from third floor just too much. We hope for the best but our hopes are dormant.
The unnamed bunch of people is scattered. This category questions the acts of other two, and itself. Of possibilities and the reaction that should have been expected. This group is much despised by others – because they demand (or desire, to begin with) change. And change is uncertain. It consists of those of us who have an inch of doubt left in their hearts – and guilt. Why didn’t we do anything? Why didn’t more of the people watching rush to help? Why don’t we help a person injured on road before the police arrive?
One answer. We need bravery, and fire of sympathy and passion to burn in our hearts. And only then we can comply with humanity.
Last but not the least; we should applaud the brave hearts who acted fearlessly in this trial of humanity. God bless.
I’m not a writer but I like to question. You can reach me at warda.khan.m@gmail.com or visit my blog: verdakhan.wordpress.com
Scattered, etc
God bless our ability to recover from shocks. Moderate shocks, that is. And God bless our ability to tidy things up.
I just came home after a hectic day to only find my room upside down. I’m guessing dragons. So, ahead of me is usual clean up slash peaceful half an hour. Sometimes, it’s my only moment of peace.
I pick up my new pajamas (I bought it on sale and they go perfectly with my favorite socks) from the shelf. They need to go back to the closet. Then I spot The Last Song which I’ll be reading tonight, and I’ll wear my pajamas, so they should stay where they are.
I must not put my diary back to the shelf because I’ll forget to pick it in the morning. Accounting books, too, can stay on my dresser as they are too heavy to carry all the way to the study. In fact, they give my room nerdy charm.
I’m not getting rid of the chocolate bowl, bur I might just filter it. Although empty wrappers are colorful and the only bright things in my elegant room. Or it would be without my drawings and scribbles, but that’s a students’ room and everyone needs study stuff. I take my latest mind map - it’s crumpled a bit so I smooth it- and pin it to the top.
I don’t need the empty coke can and apple core so they go in to trash.
Hmm. My room looks much better now. Almost artistic. And in this daily routine, I appreciated how everything around me speaks of my actions.
Lessons I’ve Unlearned About Teaching
I didn’t receive the skill of teaching in inheritance. Nor did I take any professional training BEFORE joining my first employer. It was, to put it delicately, revealed to me – part by part through experience and continuous training. And with time, I see myself learning and unlearning lessons.
At the beginning of my 4th year in teaching career, I see myself with the following unlearned lessons:
Teaching is a job. Teachers are instructors.
It’s not. It’s not.
I’d have said otherwise until a year ago, but now as I come to think of it, it’s more of an art. It’s a craft you have to learn and master; patience, organization, planning, controlling and monitoring are your tools.
Teachers do more of managers’ roles than traditional live speaking information transmitters: nowadays, students don’t need a pile of information from you ‘They’ve got google to tell them about the number of casualties in Titanic” – once a student told me, but they need someone to make them organize their thoughts, be good decision-makers and so forth.
Everyday teachers are experimenting and constantly trying latest strategies. We go through a lot, but then our satisfaction level is no match to any other employment in the world. Is there a lesson you’ve unlearned? Share it with me!
Seven Things I’d Do To Receive My Pottermore E-mail NOW
If you’ve read my earlier post ‘Golden E-mails from Pottermore: a unique waiting experience’, you’d feel I was too sensitive on the matter of not receiving the Pottermore e-mail. Time to say Chao to emotional side and think realistically about what can I do to receive my POTTERMORE e-mail now.
7) I’d kiss Dobby
I know… arguable as that- it can be based on the fact that he is actually considered adorable, but HEY! He is a free elf. Wouldn’t mind that.
Just for the sake, even a weird, pathetic goblin do.
6) I’ll take Scabbers for a walk………
and then to hell.
5) I’d teach Arthur Weasley how airplanes stay up.
4) I’d attend Professor Trelawney’s Divination class
Imagine That!
3) I’ll make Percy Weasley Roll on Floor Laughing
2) I’ll be the bridesmaid of Madame Maxime and Hagrid’s wedding
1) I’ll do what Hermione should have done to Victor Krum: 
What do you think she should have done?
Have your received your Pottermore e-mail? If yes, what house are you. And if you are waiting like me and dread if you won’t until October the first, how are you feeling? What can you do to receive Pottermore e-mail.
Useless Things Haiku
The guitar above is
one of the things that I would love,
buy, then, never use.
Millisecond of Happyness
Desperation Day is finally over. Don’t know what that is? This thing is quite popular nowadays, initially incorporated with day before Valentine’s , but for me it was the night before ACCA exam results. Cheetos Flaming hot and fizzy drinks are tradition. Other junk foods are acceptable.
I took this results thing easy on myself, since I’m used to them now. To keep myself busy, I kept changing themes and widgets of my blog, transforming into crazy, sharp colors and content. But then, five minutes before seven hundred hours, it started. It catches you in the end, the nerves, no matter where you run.
So what was the happiness? Finding my result, solely and frankly, wasn’t. It was the release from lingering anticipation midst the possible outcomes and their consequences.
I hit ‘enter’ on the familiar site. Server busy – spice of the game. I kept trying for complete eight minutes and twenty-five seconds, I logged in. Cover my face with hands was all I could do. If you think I should look up only then you may ask me to do so, I asked my sister. She did.
That very moment made me realize THAT was happiness. After months of distress and in search of ‘happiness’ and peace, this moment erased all stuff off. I’m still happy, but that millisecond best deserves the title.
All Praise is to God
Without Wax,
Verda
ACCA Results and Next
This picture has factual errors. Not all of us are becoming members or affiliates in a few hours’ time. But we are getting close. Yes!
If you are in the second module like me, I know how it feels like! It must be harder for those in P level, but I don’t know that feeling yet.
In a few hours, we’ll meet our fate. There are two possible scenarios of what happens next. Actually, there are three. And these are not scenarios will not do the math for you.
Scenario 1:
You’ll pass. Logically, it would be a 1/3 probable to happen but would vary depending on the amount of confidence you have and the degree of frustration the examiner was in at the time your paper was being checked.
Frankly, this scenario scares me. If this happened, I’ll be preparing for 3 new subjects for December session.
Scenario 2:
You’ll fail. Regardless of how bad this seems, although amazingly possible, you would just get over it. Quietly weep. And get over it. I’ve been through these times.
Scenario 3:
You’ll actually fail. You’ll fail this semester, weep, get depressed. Curse a little. Weep quietly. Weep for the next month and start your preparation for December exams on 17th November. That would be a real failure.
On behalf of my faith and hopes, I wish you success.
Without Wax,
Verda K.
What scenario(s) are you expecting? How do you deal with results pressure? I eat ice-cream!
How Can I Help Africa? – Drought 2011
Their cries are no enigmatic. Nor are they whispers. And if a human soul doesn’t recognize them, we need to open our doors for humanity and ponder for a moment: we could have been there.
We all know the ongoing crises in Africa: lack of food and water, and fatal diseases. It is time to get up once again for humanity and for this planet. A single dollar CAN save a life. And WILL.
1) Donate through Websites
UNICEF is providing food, water and proper vaccines for malnutrition in children of East Africa. Donate at least 90c to the starving children through UNICEF.
- Red Cross . Their Facebook Page is this.
- Oxfam America
2) Collect Funds from your neighborhood, church, mosques and friends. Facebook is a great platform to grab your friends and family’s attention, too. Create a spot for fundraising in your area. Check out an example: Donate
3) If you don’t have a credit card, you can can collect cash and entrust a person to donate for you. If you can’t donate money, you can still help by encouraging other people to!
4) Save food and water. Look in your refrigerator. Is there anything just kept there which would soon expire? Use the resources efficiently.
Without Wax,
Verda K.
